Finding Value.

Our speaker challenged us to write down our values today and I found it a rather daunting task.  How do you verbalize the very things that make up your being, and even if you can, can you justify them by living them out?  Kirstie and I had a long conversation about it over a cup of coffee and I've come to the conclusion that I have a lot of underlying issues left to sort out before I can be confident in who I am as an individual.  It's been a turbulent time of branching away from what I've been spoon fed my whole life and allowing myself to delve deep into my soul and find what makes my heart beat.  In a nutshell, here are a few of the things that I hope I embody.. and overtime, I hope to gain more and refine my core.

Harmony- I strive to bring individuals of all backgrounds to a peaceful unity and common ground in all situations.

Relationships- Harmony is impossible to achieve without realizing the need of deep, genuine roots in others.

Individual- I take notice and respect that all individuals are unique in their way of thinking, acting and presenting themselves.

Compassion- I put others' needs above my own and take care to be an outlet of love, servanthood and understanding.

Genuineness- My actions and words are intentional and come from my character and heart given to me by the Father.

Impact- Embodying character, manner and actions to spark loving change in the lives of those around me.

Responsibility- Realizing my tangible role in situations as well as taking time to assess others' roles as well.

Honesty- Conveying truth and accountability in my speech and mannerisms.

I've got a long way left to go.

A Sweet Idea..

God has really been working in my heart and I'm starting to realize that things I enjoy the most were put in my heart for a reason.  I've always loved baking.. it's what I do when I'm upset, mad, happy, joyful, excited (you name it) but I never thought of it as more than a hobby.  As I've been at DTS, one of the things I've enjoyed the most is cooking and baking for my YWAM family.  Whenever I have free time, I'm dreaming of things to bake and wishing I was in the kitchen.  So God started to spark a dream in my mind.  Here it is:

A bakery.  So it's a chill hangout/coffee shop with pastries, lattes, sandwiches, etc. where people can come to converse, relax, read or just run in and out.  But after hours, all of the remaining goods go to homeless shelters and needy families.  However, I don't want to just drop them off, it would be more of a ministry of providing a need and showing God's love at the same time.  I want to get to know these families; every individual has an amazing story and my favorite way to start a conversation is over food.  We all have a unique connection to it and I love to bake for other people, something inside me just overflows with joy when I get to cook for others.

I'm so stoked.  I've been doing intercessory prayer about this bakery and God's revealing a lot of things to me about what he wants it to be.  I think this is it..

Sleepless Nights

Don't you hate it when you know you are tired.. but you can't sleep at all?  That's how I've been for the past week.  I am so beat but when my head hits the pillow, I'm wide awake and my mind wanders, thus spiraling me into an even more sleep-deprived state.  I try to force my eyes close so that I can sneak in a few moments of rest, but it doesn't seem to work.  I've got to find a way around this so that I can be productive!  I even go to sleep far before curfew and I still am not asleep by the time 11 rolls around.. and then 1 passes, and 2, and 3 and so on until my alarm goes off.  It's not refreshing in the least.

Any suggestions from people that may have similar problems? Ha. I'm desperate.