Enough.

Where is the balance? Between a heart that screams for your desires, a soul that yearns a greater call and a mind that halts all movement. The inner struggle that consumes longs to force fear and doubt into the truth that was so freely given.. this is the battle, one birthed at the beginning of time. The enemy lives for nothing more than to see us paralyzed, apathetic at best until life itself slips from our grip. But my God will not stand for this.. No, He is far more than the powers of this world and already has the victory. So I will press on and hold His heart as the promise of a life He has well kept for me. A greater day where all is restored back to His all-consuming compassion and favor. And the beautiful thing is that Satan hates nothing more than when we take our sorrows and turn them into joy. We have known no pain as great as our Savior's. Step out and take a risk because Christ risked it all upon the cross.

But in every way we show we are servants of God: in accepting many hard things, in troubles, in difficulties, and in great problems... We show we are servants of Christ by our pure lives, our understanding patience and kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by true love, by speaking the truth, and by God's power. We use our right living to defend ourselves against everything.

2 Corinthians 6:4, 6:6-7

Chase.

There is a conflict inside pulling me in directions I have never been.. and I am fighting it.  Fighting it for reasons unknown and far too diverse to name.  To say that I've settled is not something I am attuned to state but others have decided upon its validity.  Where do I go from here.. my heart is calling out to the ends of the earth, awaiting the day when the winds of change will call me home.  Home is not a place.. but rather a state of being.  Where all falls in place and breathing is freeing.  So I here I will stay and dream of this day with a passion that will never fade.  Because my God is bigger than the "others" and has given me a promise to chase.. the promise that He has placed a destiny inside of me that is more overwhelming than words and as far reaching as the heavenly realms He holds intertwined in His fingers.  Beauty is beckoning.. God has my captured my heart and He I will forever pursue beyond the understanding of this world.

news.

I realize that I am rather vague in my writings.. so here I will clue you in on what's happening in my life.

God has led me to make the decision to stay in Cheyenne until He releases me to "go" again. During my time here, I plan on taking advantage of the wonderful Hathaway money that the state of Wyoming hands out and will be attending LCCC beginning this summer. Other than that, I feel extremely drawn to connect with God's work that is going on within the city. God has emphasized this as a "sowing season" where I will grow deeper in my relationships here and dig in to work towards His heart. I am so stoked to see what God has during my time in Cheyenne and I can't wait to seek after Him with all of my friends here. We're in for a crazy time.. because He's got something BIG in store for all of us.

This is definitely the hardest decision I've had to make, but nonetheless, rewarding. It is so easy for me to use missions as a way of running away (thank you for helping me realize that Heather), hiding behind the problems of the world and never facing what God wants to work on in my own life. So Jesus, here I am.. all of me. I'm ready now.