Chase.

There is a conflict inside pulling me in directions I have never been.. and I am fighting it.  Fighting it for reasons unknown and far too diverse to name.  To say that I've settled is not something I am attuned to state but others have decided upon its validity.  Where do I go from here.. my heart is calling out to the ends of the earth, awaiting the day when the winds of change will call me home.  Home is not a place.. but rather a state of being.  Where all falls in place and breathing is freeing.  So I here I will stay and dream of this day with a passion that will never fade.  Because my God is bigger than the "others" and has given me a promise to chase.. the promise that He has placed a destiny inside of me that is more overwhelming than words and as far reaching as the heavenly realms He holds intertwined in His fingers.  Beauty is beckoning.. God has my captured my heart and He I will forever pursue beyond the understanding of this world.

news.

I realize that I am rather vague in my writings.. so here I will clue you in on what's happening in my life.

God has led me to make the decision to stay in Cheyenne until He releases me to "go" again. During my time here, I plan on taking advantage of the wonderful Hathaway money that the state of Wyoming hands out and will be attending LCCC beginning this summer. Other than that, I feel extremely drawn to connect with God's work that is going on within the city. God has emphasized this as a "sowing season" where I will grow deeper in my relationships here and dig in to work towards His heart. I am so stoked to see what God has during my time in Cheyenne and I can't wait to seek after Him with all of my friends here. We're in for a crazy time.. because He's got something BIG in store for all of us.

This is definitely the hardest decision I've had to make, but nonetheless, rewarding. It is so easy for me to use missions as a way of running away (thank you for helping me realize that Heather), hiding behind the problems of the world and never facing what God wants to work on in my own life. So Jesus, here I am.. all of me. I'm ready now.

subtle.

a subtle comment spurred me to search the inner workings of my confusion and pen an exhaustive interpretation..

or, perhaps, brief.

Culture shock is an accessory I am not fond of. I've spent the past year transitioning from one world to the next.. whether it be as minute as the brush from mid-west hospitality to the rather reserved east coast or the clock-turning journey around the world to a country as opposite as India.. my head has been left in a somewhat unmanageable stupor. However, "unmanageable" may be a bit harsh..

Character is built in the moment when the life others have promised is just across the water but making the conscious decision to follow Christ in the opposite direction.

I find that such is the season..

a season of sowing in a land

familiar..

yet completely foreign.

Only God knows the outcome of our actions.. for now, I will obey as best as I know how. And perhaps one day.. I will be able to write in hand less cryptic.. Enjoy.