Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Beating of my Heart

The ways of the heart are so complex and perplexing that I can't even fathom the slightest meaning behind even a single beat.

As I've found hundreds of miles away from home and all that I've known, my heart aches for the people and places it once knew.  Love is so intricate and I can see that I truly loved (and still do) many things about my past surroundings.. and I'm longing to be submerged in the emotions of "home" once again.  This is an incredible journey and I've grown far more than I could have ever anticipated but something is missing.. something so meaningful that it hurts with every beat of my heart to know that I am away.  People.  Family, friends, everyone.

God has definitely revealed the importance of family to me over this time and I must say that I can't wait to get home and have my mama's home cookin', play Nerts with Megan and Brook, and breakfast burritos at R&B with my dad.  Not to mention, putting on a front that I am annoyed by my golden retriever Jackson when I really adore him.  And the friends, oh the friends.. bumpin' and thuggin' it with Anna and Steven, coffee and board games with Bry and Trish, all-nighters at the Waffle House with Morgan, messing up signs and eating Mexican food with Courtney, Paige, Allie, Jasmine, and Tina.. wow, just a lot of things.  Small comforts and loves that I miss so much more than I would have ever thought.  I was so ready to get out, so ready to spread my wings, and now that I've flown, I'm ready to be back.  I still have dreams.. a lot of dreams.. like going to Africa, starting a ministry of lovin' on people in Atlanta with Sav and Amber, and opening a bakery and donating almost all of it to the homeless and kids.. but I've still got so much to do and so many people to bring with me to such events.

Besides, I still have an amazing 5 months ahead of me in which to enjoy and grow in the relationships with all of the awe-inspiring people of God at DTS and outreach.  Wow.. it's going to fly by.

3 comments:

  1. Tori,

    What is even more than your longing for home is the longing deep in all of our hearts for a city not made with men's hands.. the dwelling place of God.

    I long for that home every day.

    I love to read what you write. you are amazing.

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  2. : ) I love you Tori! I can't wait to see ya when you're here for Easter!!! <3

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  3. Wow Tor... you brought tears to my eyes. You have such an awesome way to write things and you definitely tugged at my heart. I'm so very proud of you and can't wait to have you at home for a few days although I know we're going to have to share you. Love ya oodles!

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